Kayla Ann Raine (kaylaraine) wrote in whos_your_muse,
Kayla Ann Raine


I found out this morning that I was right. I didn't want to be right, but I seem to have some kind of sixth sense for stuff like this. So, now, I'm sitting here wondering what is wrong with me. Inherently, I know that he's just an asshole and I am better than him, but at the surface, all I want to do is cry. I want to close my office door, curl up in a fetal position and cry like a damn baby. It won't change things but it might make me feel better. It might help me release all of the anger and disappointment that I'm feeling right now. It will most likely remind me that I never want to love again. It's too hard. I don't my want life to be too hard anymore. I hate emotions. I hate feeling like a tool. I need to move on. I need to get out the tears and move on. I need to get over all of this cynical broken heart bullshit and continue to act like a grown-up. After all, I've done a good job so far, right? Being a grown-up, that is.

Same conflict in second person narrative...
Tarin was IMing with Aaron for about 2 hours before she signed off and collapsed on her bed. The tears that she usually holds back came in mammoth quantaties tonight. She didn't want to be right about him. She wanted her imagination to be just that...an unbelievable fantasy that she concocted out of pure jealousy. It's times like this that Tarin wished she could talk to someone about her problems, but she barely breaks down that wall, even with Jenny. All of her friends know her as the strong-willed girl who always has her emotions under control. However, tonight, she knew that she just had to let the well flow hard and fast. She would curl up with her stuffed raccoon and cry and lament for hours about how horrible he is and how much he didn't deserve her. She would blast herself for loving him like she did. She would eventually fall asleep and wake up sad and scared of the new day ahead of her. But, she wouldn't let her absolute misery show in front of others. She just can't handle those sympathetic and belittling reactions, but for now, she lets herself cry in silence.
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